Longing

I long for something,

Without knowing what.

I long for somewhere,

without knowing where.

 

I long for change,

For that next adventure…

I’m restless and bored,

Ready to start somewhere new.

 

And yet I long to settle,

To put down roots.

To call some place home

And know it’s my own.

 

But where is that illusive home?

That place where I belong,

Where I am neither other

Nor outsider?

 

I am homesick,

But I don’t know for where…

For which country, which place,

Which home?

 

My heart aches,

Without knowing for what.

It longs for something

That I cannot define.

 

Such is the path

Of my third culture kid journey:

Sometimes confusing, often contradictory…

And forever longing.

DSC_2059

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11 thoughts on “Longing

  1. Fantastic Dounia!
    I just came back from a special euro trip looking for myself.
    Everything was so nice, everything was so perfect, everything was so special, but what I loved the most was my TCA (Third Culture Adult) eye in exploration that is not settled yet.
    Quoting S.Jobs “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”

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    1. Thank you so much, Cristina! I love the way you see things, the fact that you enjoy every adventure that comes your way – and I love that you leave such wonderful comments too! 🙂 That quote is fantastic, and it’s so true… I hope that the trip went great and that it’s not too hard to adjust to this new phase and new ‘adventure’ in your life.

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  2. This is incredible. And you think you’ll get over it….and then out of nowhere comes this restless longing all over again. But then I think about moving and think “How can I do that again?” Thanks for so beautifully articulating the journey.

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    1. Thanks so much, Marilyn. I’m so grateful for this comment and all your comments/sharing on twitter too, especially since I wasn’t so sure about posting this poem. It is such a contradictory path, always trying to find the balance between restlessness and stability, between travel and roots. This one took a little while to get written because I couldn’t find the right words and then it took another little while before getting published… So thanks very much for making me feel supported and encouraged.

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      1. It so resonates Dounia – thank you for putting yourself out there. I know the feeling. I am acutely aware of this these days and really struggling so it was a personal salve to my restless heart and I think will be to others. What a lifelong journey!!

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  3. Lovely and poignant Dounia. Many of us can relate so well as our life style seems to breed restlessness, yet also the need to belong and build roots. I’ve seen it in my children and in myself. Somewhat ironic that we published in the same hour; my new adventure and you feeling the need for one. I do know this, there has to be a little of both if at all possible. Could there be an adventure close to home for you, a way to have the best of both worlds? xx

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    1. Thank you for this comment, Terry Anne. Your comments are always so beautifully expressed. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I was unsure about posting this one, so I’m truly grateful to receive such wonderful and supportive comments. I agree wholeheartedly with you that there has to be a little of both – adventure/change and rooted stability. I do find it funny that we both posted today and although we are in completely different worlds and situations, we both understand the other. I always try to find little adventures close to home, so hopefully I will find a new one soon!

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  4. I think you should consider yourself lucky in wanting change AND stability. Too many people I know are content with being rooted in one place – restlessness may sound like a negative, but it encourages exploration and learning. I love the quote that the first commenter here posted – even if you never find what you’re looking for, the journey will be all the richer!

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    1. I do consider myself so lucky to have lived this life and to have been able to see so much growing up. I love the sense of adventure and curiosity it inspires, and everything I’ve learned from it… But like everything, it does have its challenges at times. But I do agree, that quote is wonderful and truly the journey does matter more than the destination, doesn’t it? Thank you as always for a lovely and insightful comment, Paige!

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  5. All travelers struggle with this desire to both find a “home” and discover the world. Ultimately “home” is never defined by a single destination but by what we ourselves bring to a place. Happy wanderings!

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    1. So true that “home” is not a single destination. Many places can be home, and it is often the people and the experiences that make them so. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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